05.02 Leo Full Moon

 in this post, i just wanted to discuss some thoughts i have about the Leo full moon tomorrow night. 

i have written up a thread all about what this lunation is bringing into all of our lives, astrologically. but, in this post, i wanted to take it to a more personal level. 

for me, this full moon is a really important one: recently, i’ve been really seriously thinking about transitioning, and have discussed all of my gender issues with my psychiatrist. we’re trying to work through them together so i can finally understand myself and i hope that this transit can help with that. since this particular moon is all about self-love, taking the spotlight and illuminating our innermost wants no matter how scary they seem, i think it can bring good enlightenment into my life. 

the thought of transitioning is very (!!!) scary to me, and i do think my gender dysphoria has been growing more significant recently, as i said in my thread about how our troubles may have been growing along with the waxing moon. but, despite my fear, i think i can see that this is something i’ve always wanted since being a small child, so i’m really working on trying to understand exactly what it is i want and just simply accepting this fact, rather than running from it. i think, in general, this full moon can be a significant time for those of us who aren’t cisgender or who otherwise don’t “fit” within society, as it is providing us with the lion-like strength we need to face our challenges head-on and find affirmation and love on the other side. it’s all about love: finding self-love, love from our family, and support from our friendships. i think this full moon for many could be illuminating the friendships that are no longer serving and showing who truly supports our journeys. 

the square with the lunar nodes is especially interesting as i do often feel like the trans experience pulls you in two directions, similar to how this transit is making us feel. i think that often we are trying to bridge a gap between living authentically and simultaneously pleasing society and our family/friends. but, during this full moon, i want us to throw away that rule book ! we need to live exactly as we please: life is too short to dilute our identity and hide from our truth. 

this lunation is exciting. i hope it will bring me progress on my path and self-love. i hope it can do the same for you. goodluck. 

♡ Admin Sparkle

explorations of my blossoming faith; Finding sanctuary

 welcome back to the blog. Admin Sparkle here with some more random thoughts.

recently, i’ve been thinking a lot about devotion and forms of worship/religion and how they correspond with my beliefs as well as all of our lives. to me, faith is important, although i don’t believe that faith is important, in the traditional sense. what i mean by this is that i am not of the belief that an individual has to choose a religion or set of beliefs and stick with it, but rather i believe in building your own way of life and practices of faith around what you find meaning, beauty and joy in. 

for example, i practice astrology: i hold the belief that horoscope and planetary transits hold deep meaning in our mortal lives. i find great joy in learning about my placements and what they are bringing/will bring to my life, and how they affect my interactions with the outside world and my identity. yet, i find pleasure in other practices too. i hold some catholic beliefs; i think catholicism is a beautiful religion with deep cultural significance (all religions hold deep cultural significance, of course, but for me growing up in western europe, catholicism is what we’re taught most). what i’m trying to get at is that i think how religion is taught in systems of education is often narrow-minded, spreading a sort of all-or-nothing idea- that you have to choose one spiritual path, but this isn’t true. and, i think, this idea actually pushes people away from faith because it makes the topic daunting, like a lifetime commitment. 

i know that at least for me, i was always very atheist growing up. members of my family were religious- my grandmother in particular was very catholic ♡- but my immediate household never really held religious beliefs. but in the past year, i’ve gained an insatiable need to understand myself and my world. i’m unsure if this is my issues with control or identity or both seeping into my spirituality, but either way, i’ve gained some faith in the ways i described previously. and, i still have a long way to go on my journey: just recently, in fact, i received a birth chart reading from the lovely Cupid Astrology that i intend to read this weekend, and i’m hoping it will be insightful. i’m always searching for guidance and messages from the cosmos and my chart because, like i said at the beginning, it’s really important to me. the idea that there are higher powers, in whatever form they may take for you, is something i think we should find comfort in: not everything is up to us to understand all the time. i still feel strangely embarrassed about this journey. i don’t discuss my astrological ideas or otherwise faithful beliefs with my family- possibly it’s still the more judgmental younger version of myself shining through. 

but i hope that in 2023 i can develop even more, and let my spirituality blossom. i hope i can become more comfortable in myself this year; that is my number 1 resolution. i want to understand myself and i want to love myself. 

i hope the planets are moving in my favour. Sending lots of blessings and positivity to you, reader. ♡ Sparkle